Trail Tweaks: How to Poop in the Mountains like a Pro

Have you been into a multi-day trek? Camping in the woods for several nights without any facilities but just what you have brought with you. Well, for mountaineers and campers, this is so common. Sleeping in a billion star accommodation with no fancy lights, food or whatsoever. But everything you brought with you will turn into one of those fancy things when you’re there in the mountains, believe me.

As hikers, most common dilemma when in the mountains is the water supply and hygiene. Water supply for drinking, bathing and or cleaning and hygiene. You are in luck if there are water sources nearby. It is truly a blessing when water is abundant where you set up your camp. But still, we have to abide some principles in using the water sources. We need to be extra cautious not to contaminate it.

Hygiene is another thing when you are in the mountains. Well, we all know that we smell or stink on a multi-day trek/camp especially if no water sources for bathing and washing, but at least with proper hygiene, we can minimize the unhygienic aura and feel fresh still.

With our recently concluded Major climb in Mount Talinis that took us three days and two nights in the mountains, I had this minor problem. A slight problem that most of my friends teased me every time. LOL. I was not able to poop for almost 3 days HAHAHA. When I was about to do it, when my stubborn tummy signals to do the deed, every time I dug a grave, the poop got shy. That is why my stomach seemed heavy on the second day of our trek. Ikaw ba naman ang mokaon ug daghan bes, fiesta baya sa bukid, unya dili pa gyud ka ka jebs? What dah! Bug-at kaayo sa tiyan bes mura ka bug-at sa akong feelings kung di siya managad … Hahaha

Well, on the third day I was able to do so. But before that, I tried a lot of things just to let that poop out. Hahaha. I was even tempted to drink dirty water just to get the pooping done, but thank God I didn’t. So because of that, I will give few tips on how to shit in the mountains (like a pro).

1. Find the Perfect Spot

Look for a spot that is at least 200 feet from any trails or water source. The further the better. Remember, these water sources have the water that you drink from. When looking for a spot, it is recommended to have it near or just behind any log or in a flat ground. Beware of too inclined spots. You will know below why.

2. Dig a hole to Poop

Dig a hole of about 6-8 inches deep. Go deeper and bigger if possible. Bigger than you think what you’ll just need. Trust me, you’ll thank me for that. Use hand shovel when digging and be careful not to get your hand shovel dirty of anything else but a good clean dirt.

3. Do your thing – lean on

When pooping, lean against or hold a tree like a koala bear. Pag clingy sa tree bes. May nalang sa tree, ma clingy ka. Haha. Lean over the hole you have dug. Holding a tree or leaning against a tree is very effective to prevent leg cramps especially on inclined spots.

4. Do your thing – buddy system

For some, buddy system or what we call as GL (group libang) is effective. Well, only if you are comfortable with it. HAHAHA. When doing the buddy system or pair pooping, remember that you need to hold hands and never let go. At least maski sa pag libang man lang makat-on kang dili mo let go.

5. Do your thing – Log support

As I mentioned above that it is better to find a spot just near or behind the log. It is for the reason that you can just sit on the log like a toilet bowl with the hole you dug just behind it. When we are in the mountains, we really need to improvise. So, sit on the log. It could really be nice and your leg muscle will be relaxed but be careful on digging behind the log. You might end up digging someone’s mess.

6. Do your thing – Squat

When none of the mentioned from 3-5 is available, just simply squat. But make sure that you really are about to poop when doing this squat thing as it can really cause leg cramps when pooping takes longer. Once again, make sure that you really have to poop before doing this technique.

7. Bury your mess

Bury your poop with the pile of dirt you’ve set aside earlier. Ilubong na sa kalimot ang tanan bes. Sama sa iyang gugma na nalubong na. 🙂

8. Mark your mess

Just like any other war, plant a flag that signifies you’ve conquered your enemies. HAHAHA . Kidding aside, don’t forget to mark what you’ve buried. How? Just mark the spot with a cross made of sticks. In that way, other poopers would know that there are landmines in the area.

Aside from marking your landmine with cross sticks, it is better to cover it with big stone(s). Big enough to cover the hole so that forest animals could not dig it up it. Thank you, Sir Gian of Adrenaline Romance for this additional input.

That’s it! It is basically the few main tips on how to poop in the mountains. But wait, there’s more! You might be wondering what happen to the toilet paper you use after pooping? Do you have to bury them? Or bring them at home for proper disposal? For some, they will just bury the toilet paper (not wet wipes), it is just paper anyway and will decompose for sure. But there are proper ways on how to dispose of the toilet paper used when pooping. Well, that would be tackled on my next Trail Tweak. Stay tuned!

How about you? Have you been pooping in the mountains like the one described above? I strongly suggest that if facilities do exist in the mountains, use it. Pooping in the comfort room is always better.